My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
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it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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