hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
