I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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