I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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