Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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