Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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