i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
