Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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