Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
