kristin has been a bad kristin
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
