Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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