last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
