Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
