I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
