Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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