"it" just moved
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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