Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
