Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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