she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am naked and annoyed.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
