id be glad to
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
