so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
