last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
