I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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