Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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