I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
