I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
