i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
