Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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