Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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