She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
