I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
