life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just used a chaser for red wine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
