We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
