Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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