He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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