I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
