This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
