thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
