Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Randomize
