Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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