Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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