so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize