hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
