Just fell off a train. Bad.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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