Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
