people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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