A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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