he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
