chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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