Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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