You're my little dorito
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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