do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
