i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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