There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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