thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
