does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
