I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
