I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
