what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
