dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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