yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize