wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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