16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
