we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
