I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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