Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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