I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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